Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
