THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
