It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize