Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
How does one acquire holy water?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
