I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We talked him into tasing himself.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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