Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
