do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
