yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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