If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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