She said her name was "party"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
