whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
