8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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