My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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