I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
