Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
he puts the penis in happiness.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
