I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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