I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
