bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
