I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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