Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
