you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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