Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My legs feel like baby dolphins
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
