I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
