my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
