The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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