I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
