I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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