There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
