Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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