Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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