I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
