Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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