is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Randomize
