Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
