More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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