Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
