woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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