God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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