gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
