Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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