she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
