Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
