Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
