question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
