i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Who died my cat blue again?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
