I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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