dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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