I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
