it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
