real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
