I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize