My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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