...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
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her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
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This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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