you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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