Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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