Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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