I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
