I CAN MOONWALK!
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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