she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
