they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She announced her abortion via fbk
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
