Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
