Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Randomize
