Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
