guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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