when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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