Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize