You work out of a Hotel?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
