actually, I'm a sock model
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
