its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
